Last Saturday was the state competition for winter guard. We got third (!!!!!!!!!!) by an act of God and we all cried and got medals and hugged and cried and kept crying and it was so good and so fun and now its been a week and leadership season is starting up for all the kids that aren't graduating and they had the meeting where they all get to hear the music and everyone is making plans and talking about a band season I won't be a part of and its weird, but also good?
I wrote about the end of my marching band career, which was a sad fizz when there was supposed to be a violent explosion. Like setting off dynamite and watching the flame go all the way down the wire only to have it let out a sad little puff. Winter guard is different. Not only did we do much, much better, but I enjoyed myself a lot more, and everyone and everything meant a little bit more to me. And leaving marching band wasn't really the end, but now leaving winter guard it really is all over.
I have a hard time handling feelings of being left out. I have to constantly remind myself that people still like me even if they aren't hanging out with me all the time. And so leaving this activity behind is hard to come to terms with, because this whole group of people will go on to have memories and experiences that I will no longer be a part of. It's easier to cope with because I'm excited about going to college and having experiences of my own, but in the end its overwhelmingly bittersweet, because I'm leaving behind something so good, but for something that I know will be just as exciting.
So in the end, I am finally free to blog, and stay up late, and binge watch Gossip Girl, and become a whole other person. But this activity and all these people will stay with me forever, and now it will also stay on the internet forever, immortalized in this blog post.
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If you wanna watch us perform check out this link. I'm the one that runs out with a flag from the prop in the front, enjoy!
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