The person that I see myself as isn’t always the person that I want to be. I always picture myself 10 years in the future, I have an image of the woman I am going to be. I sometimes feel like the "me" I picture isn't always a person that I could be. I almost have a sugarcoated version of myself, where everything is perfect and happy all of the time.
I know the person that I am, is is how I describe myself to others: a college student who runs a blog, has a long distance boyfriend, and is from across the country. I am organized, dedicated, passionate, and completely an introvert. I have struggled with anxiety and I am proud of the place that my mental health is in, but is still working on it. I have dreams of helping to create something that is bigger than I am and that leaves a message of something better. I am a Virgo and a vegetarian. I believe in feminism and lending a helping hand to others. This is who I am.
I also know the person I want to be: a daughter who calls her parents more, a blogger with that perfect Instagram feed, a friend who is a better listener, someone who isn’t always consumed with anxiety, a person who is full with optimism and well-wishes, and a girl who is someone that other people admire for her strength and energy.
I wish that I oozed creativity and inspiration. I wish that I didn’t have friendships that turned sour and toxic. I wish that I was kinder to everyone around me, strangers or not. I wish that I wasn’t afraid of being the true me, no matter who I’m with. I wish that I felt more fulfillment from the things that I should be proud of.
But I also find comfort in the person I am. I have grown up and become a better person than I was 5 years ago, and maybe in admitting my weaknesses then I can become more like the person that I want to be.
This idea of who I am and the girl I want to be shouldn't fight against each other. These sides should work together to empower myself to become more of the person I want to be while still being the person I am on the inside.
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